Self worth comes from within, it’s something that is cultivated through working on ourselves and continuing to SHOW UP for ourselves, regardless of what is happening around us.
Self worth is about being on your own team. It’s about knowing your value, regardless of what anyone else thinks, says, or does.
Self-worth is something that I struggled with a lot in my teenage years and in my twenties,
Although I didn’t really have the words for it back then, I just felt that I wasn’t good enough. I wasn’t good enough for men, I felt like wasn’t as cool as my friends, that I didn’t have what it takes to be successful. It was just an underlying feeling of unworthiness. I struggled with eating disorders, I rejected my body, I rejected my femininity, I didn’t bother making my home and spaces where I lived pretty, I struggled with self-esteem issues. Looking back I can see that it was chronically low self-worth.
Chances are, you've heard of the term self-worth is, and you know what self esteem, self love and self-care are. They are all linked, but there is a difference between the terms. Self-care is important, and includes behaviours like getting a massage, having a hot bath, getting your nails done, getting enough sleep. But self worth comes from within, and it’s not something you can buy from the salon!
It doesn’t come from anything outside you, and it’s crucial that you develop strong self-worth, since it helps to show others how we like to be treated.
And if we have low self-worth, it can be manifested in lots of different unhealthy patterns. We can stay in toxic relationships, we can feel really depressed and down, we attract people into our lives that are bad for us, toxic and that drain our energy because we don't feel that we have the voice or the words or the ability to choose who we want to spend our time with.
Ways we can look at our self-worth
When thinking about your self-worth there are a few indicators that can give you an idea about whether you have a healthy sense of self-worth.
How do you treat your body?
Do you eat right, do you exercise, do you get enough sleep? Do you value cooking a healthy meal for yourself? Do you value spending money on healthy food? Do you value buying products that aren’t full of chemicals or do you just buy the cheapest thing available? All these behaviours are a good indication of how much you value your physical body.
Who do you spend time with?
Do you spend time with toxic people who drain you? Or do you spend time with people who inspire you, who love you and who build you up? If you spend loads of time with people even though they make you feel like crap, then maybe it’s because you feel like you are not worth of the friendships you really want?
How do you decorate your space around you?
This was a big thing for me – I never invested in making where I lived beautiful. I told myself ‘I couldn’t be bothered’ but really, I didn’t feel like I desired nice furnishings, nice sheets, and nice kitchenware. How do you think about your home/space?
Do you hate your job?
If we stay in toxic working environments or jobs we hate, what message does that send? That we don’t deserve something better?
There are several ways that you can increase your self-worth. So, first of all, it starts with what you're saying to yourself. You need to change the way you talk to yourself. So you need to tell yourself that your value comes from within, it doesn't come from anything outside of yourself. You need to tell yourself that whatever happens around you, whatever opinions people have of you, whatever they say to you that doesn't define your worth. You have to believe that you have the power to determine how you react to things, how you spend your time, and how you respond to events and circumstances.
When you choose to behave in the way that's really aligned to who you want to be and your values, that's when you start to build more self-worth. It's really about cultivating this inner power, cultivating this inner acceptance, this inner self-love and then translating this into behaviours, manifestations and relationships on the outside, and that's how you start to build your self-worth. And it really starts with self-understanding.
And I mean, really understanding yourself as a person. If everything was taken away, if your job, your career, your friends, everything around you, and it was just you left, how would you feel about yourself? How would you feel about who you are, who this person is, is this who you want to be? Take away all the external stuff and find out who is on the inside.
This is what happened for me. I went to Dubai when I was 26 for work, and for the first time everything in my life that I had previously relied on for a sense of identity had been taken away from me. So I didn't have any friends, I didn't have any contacts. I was completely alone. I lived alone. I was in a new country. I didn't know anyone. And all of a sudden, I just was completely by myself. I didn't have any partying. I didn't have any guys. I didn't have any friends to distract me, I just had myself.
Everything was stripped away from me. I only had my job, and that really made me realise that working in a corporate environment wasn’t what I wanted to do. So everything was stripped away from me and I had to really look at myself and at the person that I was - who did I want to be in this life? What kind of life did I want to create for myself? So that's exactly what I did. I went on a huge journey of self-understanding to really connect with who am I, who am I in this world? And who do I want to be?
So acknowledge you that you have the power within you to do whatever you want, we all have the power and I want you to connect with that because when we understand that the power is within us and we take back control and we get really intentional with things, and we come from a place of strong self worth, we come from a place of self-love and self-respect, then we can create the intentional life that we want, because we have that understanding about who we want to be. Do you want to know more about self-worth? On Thursday, 15 July and Friday, 16 July, I'm going to be running a two-day Masterclass all about the topic of self-worth. We are going to be diving deep into: ❤️ What is and is not self-worth ❤️ Ways our self-worth may have been crushed in the past ❤️ What it looks like when you have low self-worth ❤️ The link between self-worth, confidence and connection ❤️ Why it’s important to build your self-worth ❤️ Finding self-worth through self-discovery and self-acceptance ❤️ How you can build new levels of self-worth and confidence There is also going to be an amazing gift available to those who stay until the end.