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Why we find it so hard to change

Updated: Aug 19, 2021

Change is so hard for us because we usually try to change from a conscious level without first changing on an unconscious level.


Any belief, behaviour or habit is really just an automatic reaction in your body that happens without you even thinking about it. The reason why your old ways of thinking and being are so overpowering and dominating, is that you have repeated them countless times, strengthening these neural networks and embedding these beliefs and behaviours further into your subconscious mind. They are so far in your subconscious that you aren’t even aware you are operating from these automatic processes.



I love how Joe Dispenza describes it, “when you decide to change, think of it as using 5% of your conscious mind to fight the other 95% of what you have memorised subconsciously.”


To change something and become a new version of yourself that has the career, the confidence, the self-love, the relationship, the happiness and the money you want, you have to first bring your unconscious programming and conditioning to the surface so you understand fully what it is you’ve got on repeat, and only then can you start to change them.


You then have to REPROGRAM yourself to this new way of being, over and over again. This then becomes a practice that needs repetition. You have to condition your self to be the new version of yourself daily, and this is why most people fail at changing.



That’s what my help my clients do in my 1:1 program. When women come to me they have patterns and blocks playing on repeat and they don’t understand why they can’t change.


For example, take my client Lyla who has just finished my 12-week program:



“When I came to Ashleigh I was completely stuck with my life. Life was fine but situations kept repeating themselves and so I was in a standstill. Trying to move forward and yet incapable of making it happen. My boundaries were also an issues and being violated which left me feeling tired, frustrated and taken advantage of.”


Lyla and I worked on her limiting beliefs, her limiting behaviors, her stories and her shadow self. We reconnected to her inner-child; we brought her shadows into the light for transformation. I helped her map out the life that she really wanted, and helped her to start to create a life that was aligned to her true self.


I then helped her condition herself to this new way of being.


The result?


“Internally, I have tapped back into my power, deservingness and worth. Externally, I am more confidence, I’m speaking my truth and most importantly not letting people’s opinions, and behaviours or feelings affect me. I live with more awareness and more tools to tap into to and shift whatever it is which doesn’t sit with me or empower me. The last 12 weeks has been a wonderful journey of growth and insights, delving deeper into root causes and unresolved trauma and tapping back into power, which had been forgotten. In one word – transformational.”


I’ve got 2 more 1:1 Private Coaching spots open for August. Life is short, don’t waste it living in a way that is not true, that is mediocre – build a life you are in love with and start right now.


Making an investment in coaching is making an investment in your future. It’s backing yourself and saying “I am worth this, I know I can create the change I want.” And it’s an investment that will pay dividends for the rest of your life.


Book at call with me below to find out more about how my coaching can help.










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